Nature Baby

Now that the weather in NY is improving, we've been heading to the rail trail for some adventures.  Our walks generally take about an hour and a half, and Jason is well-behaved for about an hour and ten minutes of it.  He usually has a meltdown on the way back to the car.

This is Jason posing with his first wooly bear, which can be seen to the right of the stroller's front wheel. 

He's ready for an adventure!

And now he's ready for the adventure to be over.

Do you like my sunglasses? They were $6 at Old Navy.  I guess Jason is too young to appreciate a bargain.

Since we had a brief spell of warm weather before temperatures plunged back to Arctic levels, Jason got to try out some of his summer wardrobe.  He rocked his first pair of shorts!

#chickenlegs

He has also improved at tummy time!

He has started giggling, which is the cutest gosh dang thing ever, and he makes some interesting faces.

Monkey face.

He had his three month checkup this past week, and continued his streak of perfect behavior during his visits.  The doctor graphed his size, and let's just say he has some room to grow, but he is perfect in every other way.  As one of my work friends texted to me the day he was born, "Good things come in small packages." I think my Mama Bear instincts are coming out, because I'm all ready to rip the eyeballs out of anyone who says something disparaging about his size. 

Sadly, all is not sunshine and rainbows in the Klepeis household.  We now have a mortal enemy, and its name is Papa John's.

Let me be clear about something.  We are not regular Papa John's customers.  One of the best things about living in this area of the country is that, while we may have to deal with a crappy climate and an outrageous cost of living, you literally can not step outside and swing a stick without hitting a fantastic, authentic pizza place.  We realize that not everybody is so blessed, and that Papa John's is not "real" pizza.  In fact, I always considered it fairly white trash (or, as we delicately say in the medical field, "Whiskey Tango."  We are nothing if not compassionate professionals).  However, when we were in Ocean City for our first anniversary, we ordered a Papa John's pizza and a Cinnapie, and it now holds a special place in my heart.

I originally drafted the following letter of complaint with the intent of sending it to the customer service people via the Papa John's website.  However, Papa John's is so ridiculously incompetent that they neglected to include a "Send" button on their complaint form.  Yes, they care about your business and want you to type out your complaints to your heart's content, but they don't provide a way for you to actually send it to them so they can read it. (Perhaps they are too stupid to know HOW to read?  That would explain quite a bit actually).

So I am posting my letter here for two reasons. First, I want to warn friends and family away from ever compromising on quality and attempting to buy pizza from Satan himself, AKA Papa John.  Second, if a Papa John's executive ever gets a hankering to Google both "Papa John's" and "cutest baby alive," I want him to be able to educate himself on exactly how much his company fails on a customer service level.

Here is my letter, which was composed in real time:

Dear Papa,

We are a couple of young professionals with a three-month old baby, who were looking forward to enjoying dinner and the Yankee game after a long week of work.  At approximately 6:06 PM on the 24^th of April, we utilized your online ordering service.  Our order consisted of a large pizza and a Cinnapie.  We were informed that it would be 40 to 50 minutes for our order to arrived. 

We are reasonable people.  If it had taken an hour, an hour and 10 minutes, or even an hour and a half for our order to arrive, we would not be writing to you in such a blind rage.

It is currently 8:10 PM, and there is no sign of our dinner.  We called the restaurant once after about an hour and 20 minutes, and the (not) helpful employee who answered the phone declined to take our order number, and instead told us that “all online orders are out, so you’re fine.”  Quite professional and informative.

About 20 minutes ago, we saw a Papa John’s delivery car drive through our condo complex, and foolishly hoped that our order would soon make its way into our home and bellies.  How stupid of us.  After patiently waiting about 10 minutes, we again called your restaurant, and were told that the driver is “in the area,” and that he should arrive “soon,” and our next pizza will be “comped.” 

The time is now 8:15 PM.  No dinner.  At this point, I would like you to shove your “comped” pizza up your ass.

8:17 PM.  No pizza, and no Cinnapie.  Perhaps Papa John’s doesn’t really exist, and we are high on some sort of illegal substance, and this is all just a bad trip?

8:20 PM.  I am beginning to believe that we are on some kind of hidden camera game show, and people across the country are taking bets on how long we will wait for our dinner before chewing off our own arms in a hunger-induced psychotic episode.

8:24 PM.  The driver just called us.  He is apparently confused as to where our complex is located.  How can this be, when according to my notes, we saw a Papa John’s driver IN OUR VERY CONDOMINIUM COMPLEX ABOUT HALF AN HOUR AGO?  We are now giving directions over the phone. 

8:27 PM.  Driver is still receiving directions. 

8:28 PM.  Driver has arrived.

8:30 PM  Pizza is in our home.

8:31 PM.  We are ingesting our COLD DINNER.

To sum up, after being quoted an arrival time of 40 to 50 minutes, our food has shown up TWO HOURS AND TWENTY SIX MINUTES after our order was initially placed.  You suck.

 

P.S. You are a stupid clown, but I still love that damn Cinnapie. 

Don't Get "Testy," Jason

That title will make sense in a minute.

This week, Jason took a trip down to his surgeon's office for a follow-up visit.  I was unable to go with him, since I just started back at work last Wednesday, but Dave said that the number of compliments Jason received was a little ridiculous!  Everyone was commenting on what a cute baby he is, a guy in the waiting room pointed out how adorable his big blue eyes are, and Dr. Stringel's PA said, "Oh, you're the baby all the nurses wanted to take home with them!"

See how big his head has gotten from all the compliments?  We're going to have to have a talk about humility pretty soon.

Unfortunately, although the swelling and incision look great, Dr. Stringel noted that Jason's testicle seems a bit high.  Not necessarily a big deal, but it means we have to go back in July for yet another testicle inspection.

You may now take a moment to appreciate my hilarious blog title.  I'll wait.....

Ok then.  The good news was that Jason was tipping the scales at a healthy 11 pounds 7 ounces (with clothes and a wet diaper, but that's how he was weighed at his first consultation as well).

Jason also enjoyed celebrating his first Easter!  We did not get him an Easter basket, which I hope won't result in years of therapy later in his life.  Instead, we went to dinner at Babci and PopPop's house, and then had dessert at Grandma and Grandpa's. He Skyped with his southern family, and received his first Big Boy lessons from his oldest cousin Chad (Introduction to Hilarious Face-Making, and Easter Goodies 101). Uncle Mike had just gotten back from his vacation to San Diego, and he gave Jason an adorable stuffed elephant.  I am determined that Jason will love animals as much as I do.  Operation Convince-Daddy-To-Get-A-Cat is underway.

Uncle Mike took this lovely family portrait.  Note Jason's little sneakers.

 At Grandma and Grandpa's house, Aunt Val found some magical fake pigtails that turn anyone who wears them into a pretty lady.  We took turns trying them on.

Jason does not like being a pretty lady.

But Dave does.

Now that the weather is improving, Jason has been enjoying some outdoor time.  

Here he is, wrapped up in Babci's handmade blanket on the deck.  You can't tell, but his hat has monster spikes on the top, and it is the cutest thing ever.  It was a present from his cousin Theo!  

His first stroller ride on the rail trail! 

The weather for this weekend is supposed to be quite spring-ish, so we plan to head out for two more rail trail excursions!

That's all for now!