Quick update

This is the first time I'm updating this using the iPhone app, so I hope it doesn't look weird.

Jason has his four month checkup today, which means it's vaccine time again. He's the last appointment of the day, so hopefully the office will be empty enough that he doesn't disturb people with his howls.

We took him to the Stormville flea market this weekend. Remember the part in Happy Gilmore when the golf commentator referred to the crowd as "economically diverse?" Yeah.

Baby's First Inappropriate Photo

Now that Jason has chunked up a bit, he's enjoying his little swing more and more. Yesterday he got so excited to be in it that he pooped through his diaper and onesie, and onto the swing itself.

Scene of the crime.

We hope to get the A-OK from the doc today to start giving Jason some rice cereal. It would be nice if those poops solidified a bit! 

Quick Update

Not much has changed for Jason over the last couple of weeks.  He's definitely teething, and will chew on a washcloth, his rattles, my shoulder, or whatever else happens to be near his mouth.

Jason and his Yankee duck. I think we have him sufficiently brainwashed.

The last time we took Jason for a walk, it was sunny enough that we had to goop him up with some baby sunscreen.  We went to Stringham Park for the first time, because there are some really pretty ponds and paved walkways.  Dave and I used to fish there a lot, but I think Jason is still too young to hold a pole.

We always make sure he wears a hat.  Safety first.

Selfie with Mommy.  We're practically twins (sarcasm).

Finally, I have to give a shout-out to the most amazing baby product I've come across yet.  It's called the NoseFrida.  

*Sound of angels singing*

If you can't read the smaller print under the part that says NoseFrida, it says "The Snotsucker."  Until now, we've been using the bulb-shaped hospital booger sucker to clear Jason's nose when it becomes overly boogery.  This squicks me out for a few reasons.  First of all, there's no way to clean out the inside of the bulb, and I imagine colonies of pathogens are having a damn block party in there.  Secondly, I don't like sticking the nose of the bulb-shaped booger sucker into Jason's nostril, because it seems like an injury waiting to happen.  Third, Jason HATES the bulb. 

So as you have probably determined from the helpful illustration on NoseFrida's container, this genius invention works by covering the nostril with a soft, rounded plastic tube, and then using the mouthpiece on the other end to siphon boogers and mucous out of your baby.  The boogers and mucous do not make their way up into your mouth, because of a helpful, disposable NoseFrida filter.  I realize some people might find this a tad distasteful, but it's amazingly effective.  Not ten minutes ago, I sucked a huge booger out of each of Jason's nostrils, and he didn't make a peep! 

Nature Baby

Now that the weather in NY is improving, we've been heading to the rail trail for some adventures.  Our walks generally take about an hour and a half, and Jason is well-behaved for about an hour and ten minutes of it.  He usually has a meltdown on the way back to the car.

This is Jason posing with his first wooly bear, which can be seen to the right of the stroller's front wheel. 

He's ready for an adventure!

And now he's ready for the adventure to be over.

Do you like my sunglasses? They were $6 at Old Navy.  I guess Jason is too young to appreciate a bargain.

Since we had a brief spell of warm weather before temperatures plunged back to Arctic levels, Jason got to try out some of his summer wardrobe.  He rocked his first pair of shorts!

#chickenlegs

He has also improved at tummy time!

He has started giggling, which is the cutest gosh dang thing ever, and he makes some interesting faces.

Monkey face.

He had his three month checkup this past week, and continued his streak of perfect behavior during his visits.  The doctor graphed his size, and let's just say he has some room to grow, but he is perfect in every other way.  As one of my work friends texted to me the day he was born, "Good things come in small packages." I think my Mama Bear instincts are coming out, because I'm all ready to rip the eyeballs out of anyone who says something disparaging about his size. 

Sadly, all is not sunshine and rainbows in the Klepeis household.  We now have a mortal enemy, and its name is Papa John's.

Let me be clear about something.  We are not regular Papa John's customers.  One of the best things about living in this area of the country is that, while we may have to deal with a crappy climate and an outrageous cost of living, you literally can not step outside and swing a stick without hitting a fantastic, authentic pizza place.  We realize that not everybody is so blessed, and that Papa John's is not "real" pizza.  In fact, I always considered it fairly white trash (or, as we delicately say in the medical field, "Whiskey Tango."  We are nothing if not compassionate professionals).  However, when we were in Ocean City for our first anniversary, we ordered a Papa John's pizza and a Cinnapie, and it now holds a special place in my heart.

I originally drafted the following letter of complaint with the intent of sending it to the customer service people via the Papa John's website.  However, Papa John's is so ridiculously incompetent that they neglected to include a "Send" button on their complaint form.  Yes, they care about your business and want you to type out your complaints to your heart's content, but they don't provide a way for you to actually send it to them so they can read it. (Perhaps they are too stupid to know HOW to read?  That would explain quite a bit actually).

So I am posting my letter here for two reasons. First, I want to warn friends and family away from ever compromising on quality and attempting to buy pizza from Satan himself, AKA Papa John.  Second, if a Papa John's executive ever gets a hankering to Google both "Papa John's" and "cutest baby alive," I want him to be able to educate himself on exactly how much his company fails on a customer service level.

Here is my letter, which was composed in real time:

Dear Papa,

We are a couple of young professionals with a three-month old baby, who were looking forward to enjoying dinner and the Yankee game after a long week of work.  At approximately 6:06 PM on the 24^th of April, we utilized your online ordering service.  Our order consisted of a large pizza and a Cinnapie.  We were informed that it would be 40 to 50 minutes for our order to arrived. 

We are reasonable people.  If it had taken an hour, an hour and 10 minutes, or even an hour and a half for our order to arrive, we would not be writing to you in such a blind rage.

It is currently 8:10 PM, and there is no sign of our dinner.  We called the restaurant once after about an hour and 20 minutes, and the (not) helpful employee who answered the phone declined to take our order number, and instead told us that “all online orders are out, so you’re fine.”  Quite professional and informative.

About 20 minutes ago, we saw a Papa John’s delivery car drive through our condo complex, and foolishly hoped that our order would soon make its way into our home and bellies.  How stupid of us.  After patiently waiting about 10 minutes, we again called your restaurant, and were told that the driver is “in the area,” and that he should arrive “soon,” and our next pizza will be “comped.” 

The time is now 8:15 PM.  No dinner.  At this point, I would like you to shove your “comped” pizza up your ass.

8:17 PM.  No pizza, and no Cinnapie.  Perhaps Papa John’s doesn’t really exist, and we are high on some sort of illegal substance, and this is all just a bad trip?

8:20 PM.  I am beginning to believe that we are on some kind of hidden camera game show, and people across the country are taking bets on how long we will wait for our dinner before chewing off our own arms in a hunger-induced psychotic episode.

8:24 PM.  The driver just called us.  He is apparently confused as to where our complex is located.  How can this be, when according to my notes, we saw a Papa John’s driver IN OUR VERY CONDOMINIUM COMPLEX ABOUT HALF AN HOUR AGO?  We are now giving directions over the phone. 

8:27 PM.  Driver is still receiving directions. 

8:28 PM.  Driver has arrived.

8:30 PM  Pizza is in our home.

8:31 PM.  We are ingesting our COLD DINNER.

To sum up, after being quoted an arrival time of 40 to 50 minutes, our food has shown up TWO HOURS AND TWENTY SIX MINUTES after our order was initially placed.  You suck.

 

P.S. You are a stupid clown, but I still love that damn Cinnapie. 

Don't Get "Testy," Jason

That title will make sense in a minute.

This week, Jason took a trip down to his surgeon's office for a follow-up visit.  I was unable to go with him, since I just started back at work last Wednesday, but Dave said that the number of compliments Jason received was a little ridiculous!  Everyone was commenting on what a cute baby he is, a guy in the waiting room pointed out how adorable his big blue eyes are, and Dr. Stringel's PA said, "Oh, you're the baby all the nurses wanted to take home with them!"

See how big his head has gotten from all the compliments?  We're going to have to have a talk about humility pretty soon.

Unfortunately, although the swelling and incision look great, Dr. Stringel noted that Jason's testicle seems a bit high.  Not necessarily a big deal, but it means we have to go back in July for yet another testicle inspection.

You may now take a moment to appreciate my hilarious blog title.  I'll wait.....

Ok then.  The good news was that Jason was tipping the scales at a healthy 11 pounds 7 ounces (with clothes and a wet diaper, but that's how he was weighed at his first consultation as well).

Jason also enjoyed celebrating his first Easter!  We did not get him an Easter basket, which I hope won't result in years of therapy later in his life.  Instead, we went to dinner at Babci and PopPop's house, and then had dessert at Grandma and Grandpa's. He Skyped with his southern family, and received his first Big Boy lessons from his oldest cousin Chad (Introduction to Hilarious Face-Making, and Easter Goodies 101). Uncle Mike had just gotten back from his vacation to San Diego, and he gave Jason an adorable stuffed elephant.  I am determined that Jason will love animals as much as I do.  Operation Convince-Daddy-To-Get-A-Cat is underway.

Uncle Mike took this lovely family portrait.  Note Jason's little sneakers.

 At Grandma and Grandpa's house, Aunt Val found some magical fake pigtails that turn anyone who wears them into a pretty lady.  We took turns trying them on.

Jason does not like being a pretty lady.

But Dave does.

Now that the weather is improving, Jason has been enjoying some outdoor time.  

Here he is, wrapped up in Babci's handmade blanket on the deck.  You can't tell, but his hat has monster spikes on the top, and it is the cutest thing ever.  It was a present from his cousin Theo!  

His first stroller ride on the rail trail! 

The weather for this weekend is supposed to be quite spring-ish, so we plan to head out for two more rail trail excursions!

That's all for now!

Our Little Patient

So before we knew it, it was time to bring Jason in for his hernia surgery.  To get to Maria Fareri on time, we needed to leave around 5 in the morning.  That's around the time Jason usually starts his Get-Up-And-Feed-Me wimpering, but I woke him up at 1 for a final pre-surgery bottle instead.  He cranked a little bit as we started the drive, but he's a good little traveler and slept almost the whole way.

As far as hospitals go, Maria Fareri is a pretty place!  There are two huge saltwater fish tanks when you enter, and the hallway leading to the surgery center is set up like a baseball museum, with memorabilia and displays along the walls.  I guess they try to make it as cheerful as possible for the poor kiddos :-(

Jason said hello to his anesthesiologists, nurse, and surgeon.  Then we changed him into a tiny little gown and they took him away.  The surgery was supposed to last about 1.5 hours, but I think it was almost three hours when we were finally called back.  Dr. Stringel told us that he's done thousands of hernia repairs, and he considered Jason's to be extremely difficult.  Originally, we thought he had a large hernia on the left and a tiny one on the right.  Dr. Stringel said that once he repaired the left one, he didn't see much evidence of one on the right.  He was reluctant to operate on that side without concrete evidence of a hernia, since inguinal hernia repair can damage the testicle.  When we bring him back for his two week follow up, Dr. Stringel will reassess the right side.  Keep your fingers crossed for no hernia!

On the way home, cranky and hungover.

Jason was a little ball of grumpiness for the rest of the day.  His throat was hoarse from being intubated, and he seemed to be very uncomfortable.  Good thing he gets a kick out of it when we give him Tylenol.

The next morning, he was broiling hot, and his temperature read 101.8 at its highest.  We called Dr. Stringel, who told us to bring him to the pediatrician that morning since we live an hour from Maria Fareri.  Jason's doctor checked him out, called the surgeon, and told us that the incision and swelling seemed to be within normal limits and his fever should peak that day.  He asked that we bring Jason back the next morning to be on the safe side.  Fortunately, by the next morning Jason's temperature had returned to normal and he seemed to be his usual chipper self!

Post-op  Jason sleeping on Mommy.  He's cute even when he's feverish!

Since medical stuff can be kind of a bummer to read about, here are some happier updates:

 

After rejecting every offered pacifier since birth, Jason has suddenly decided that this pacifier is his BFF.  It's adorable when he manages to keep it in his mouth, but he sure can scream like a howler monkey when it falls out and Mommy or Daddy don't immediately stick it back in.

Jason has started to discover his hands!  He'll stare at a hand for a couple seconds, then slowly bring it towards his head, bonk himself in the eye, and then slide it down his face until he can chew on his knuckles.  He is such a little genius.

He also took a drive with me to meet my coworkers!  Jason had such a good time being fawned over by the docs and nurses.  He was obsessed with my manager's bright red sweater, so she got some great smiles out of him.  I think he also recognized my work BFF's voice from his time in utero, because he gave her some charming smiles as well. 

Jason's plans for the weekend include tummy time, baths, quality time with Daddy while Mommy goes out to dinner with her work buddies, and enjoying the tantalizing aroma of PopPop's famous smoked ribs. 

Two Months Old

Jason has been a busy baby lately!  He met his surgeon, and his procedure is scheduled for March 23rd.  We need to be at the hospital at 6:30 in the morning, and Jason will not be allowed any milk products after 1:30 AM.  He can have Pedialyte until 3:30, but I'm predicting we will have a pretty cranky baby on our hands until he can eat again. 

Today was Jason's two month appointment, and he worked hard at charming his pediatrician.  He gave her tons of smiles and coos while she was examining him.  She complimented how good he was, and said not all babies are as well behaved as he is!  He's weighing in at a solid 9 lbs 14 oz, and is 21 inches long.  That means he's still in the lower percentiles among other babies his age, but he's been steadily gaining the way he should.  He was also given his first round of vaccines! 

This is Jason while the nurses gathered their supplies. Ignorance is bliss, right buddy?

The first vaccine was given orally.  Jason apparently agreed that it was time for a snack, because he gobbled his medicine up, smacked his lips, and looked around for more.  

Then the nurses brought the needles out, and Jason was not so well behaved anymore.

Post-injection picture of Jason losing his damn mind.

He only cried for a few minutes, but he's been fussy and sulky for a while.  We had a long chat about how important it is to stay up to date on vaccinations, but you can't really reason with an infant. 

And now for some random cuteness:

Chilling with Uncle Mike.

These are my favorite jammies.

This is my favorite picture of him!  He's a big Duke fan, although Daddy would prefer to raise him as a Syracuse fan.  I think Blue Devils > Orange Bobbleheads.

Practicing his grasping and chewing skills.

Smiley baby!

Jason finally started smiling often enough that we've been able to get some pictures!

Look at that face!

"Oh Dad, you're so silly!"

 

He looks like a tiny old man, but a happy one!

 

He also soothed himself out of a temper tantrum one night by finding his thumb!  He found it once before, but we weren't able to get a picture of it.

 

So cute, I practically had a seizure.

Jason has developed an active social life.  He took his first trip to Grandma and Grandpa's house!

 

 Lunch with Grandma.

He also asked Babci and PopPop to come babysit him so Dave and I could go have sushi and see Hot Tub Time Machine 2. 

 

Lunch with Babci.

He was reportedly very well behaved.  

And PopPop took a picture of all three of us together!

Jason got all dressed up in some Baby Gap for our first family portrait. 

Jason is currently napping, because his Aunt Val is coming over for paella tonight and we don't want him to be a cranky host.